NBA Ballers: Chosen One

Chosen One, the long-awaited next-gen follow-up to Midway's NBA Jam replacement, brings its popular one-on-one (and 2-vs-2 and 1-vs-1-vs-1) gameplay to PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. Story Modes are presumably popular, regardless of the genre, so it wasn't a shock to see that the single-player quest has been given that title. Is it a fair assessment? Not really – there isn't much of a story beyond Chuck D's pre-game announcements. But if you wanted deep character interactions, you'd be investigating RPGs. Players come to NBA Ballers because they love the sport, or at least the entertainment sports games provide.

Whether you've played this series or not, it has to be said that NBA Ballers is no longer an arcade-style sports game. It's not a simulator either, despite the announcer's annoying clarification: "You can't goaltend, this isn't street." Chosen One imposes some rules and ignores others. Goaltending is generally accepted as long as the ball isn't too close to the net. The invisible refs will also turn a blind eye to it if you smack the ball sideways or behind the board. Smack it back toward your opponent's net and the point automatically goes to them.

These rules, though a little convoluted, are not too extreme. They do not, however, mesh with the misuse of the shot clock. Like any non-arcade baller, players are forced to shoot the ball within the time limit or lose control of it. On the other hand, if I grab an opponent and throw him lightly, nothing happens. He may drop the ball, allowing my AI-controlled teammate (in two-on-two games) to take it away from him. That's perfectly fine ... As long as the game doesn't think it's a harsh throw. You don't get to decide the outcome. If the latter occurs, you're in trouble regardless of what happens to the ball. The victimized player gets a free throw, something you'd never see in an arcade baller.

Tricks and fantasy dunks, however, are very much a part of the arcade experience. Hence their inclusion here. But wait, didn't they say this wasn't a street baller? How can it be an arcade baller without being a street baller as well? Simple: by picking and choosing which rules are fair and which rules are not. They might not make sense to the player, who will be baffled every time an opponent whips out a ridiculous super move. Super moves lead to automatic, irreversible steals, dunks and three-point shots. They're gained by performing tricks, including a move where the player slams the ball against an opponent's head. If performed successfully, the ball will bounce off his head and fly straight back into your arms. Now tell me: is this something you'd expect to see in the NBA or in a dusty corner at GameWorks?

Super moves are a 10- and 15-second affair, leading to game-pausing animations that cannot be bypassed. It's the sports game equivalent to the GF summon monsters in Final Fantasy VIII (which, for those who have not played it, were excessively long animations that bolstered the game's length at the expense of players' attention spans). Chose One's animations are much too clunky to be enjoyable, even if they were shorter and could be skipped. And yet, I found it hard to grab a snack and make it back in time before my player finished. It was much easier to do that – or go to the bathroom, clip my toenails, or a million other things – during the game's 50-second load times, which occur before every mission. ("Mission" being used very loosely here, as your only goal is to win each game you play.)

Artificial, Not Intelligent

These problems are almost intangible. You can't touch a bad rule or lengthy animations. There are, however, some things you can get your hands on. During games with continuous play, there is no break in between goals. If you're fast and stay under the net, the ball will gently drop into your player's hands immediately following a dunk – his own dunk. As the one scoring point after point, you'll feel pretty good. But when a strong AI opponent grabs the ball, that good feeling turns into the emotional equivalent to what an insect must feel when being squashed by an eighteen-wheeler.

Theoretically, the tables can be turned. The ball can be stolen, knocked out, or drop from his slippery hands. But that's only feasible if you're playing against Normal AI Opponent, Slightly Challenging AI Opponent, or Opponent So Weak He Should Be a Guard in Metal Gear Solid. However, if you're playing against Cheap Dude or Super Exasperation Monster (the guy that hogs the ball flawlessly), the words "Game Over" will flash before your eyes. Not literally, but when that "other guy wins" message appears, it’ll have the exact same effect.

One on One on No One

Underneath the flawed appearance and inconsistent rules, I had hoped for a game that would still be a part of the NBA Ballers legacy; a game that would stay in my PS3 for months to come. And it might have – if we were in 1990. Nowadays we're used to big players, vibrant colors and the shiny glow that only high-def games can bring. Putting everything else aside, Chosen One is a severely damaged game. Most notably, it doesn't feel seamless. When you pick up the controller for the first time, no connection is made. Win or lose, the player won't be excited. Frustrated, maybe. Bored, possibly. And though you may hope this will change as the game progresses, how can it? There are only so many ways you can play a game of on-on-one or two-on-two. New rules and restrictions don't change the game of b-ball, not when the game itself lacks the edge and resilience of if its PS2 predecessor.