NFL Tour

Somewhere in the world, a gamer is playing NFL Tour and loving every minute of it. He’s immersed in the addictive gameplay, engrossed by the knockout thrills, and overwhelmed by the over-the-top moves that can’t be found in NFL Blitz or the ill-fated (and barely remembered) NFL Xtreme. He appreciates the catchy, upbeat music but not the commentary, which is too annoying for anyone with ears to enjoy.

In between skirmishes with friends, he impatiently waits for the next time he’ll get to sack his favorite opponents. He’s in Heaven. He never wants to leave his PlayStation 3 again…

Because he, unlike the rest of us, never played NFL Street.

If he had, he would have likely ended up in one of the two categories that separate most NFL Street players: die-hard fan and no fan at all. I fit into the former category. Since the game’s launch a few years ago, I haven’t gone a single Thanksgiving without playing NFL Street. It’s what we (my cousin and I) love to do. We look forward to it, and spent a great deal of time playing the original NFL Street this past Christmas Eve. We play the sequels frequently, but the first one is our favorite.

On a next-gen console, NFL Street could be phenomenal. But instead of making the jump to PS3 and Xbox 360 as NBA Street did last year, and as FIFA Street will do in 2008, the NFL Street series has been axed in favor of NFL Tour. The change doesn’t make much sense, especially when you play it for the first time and realize that it is exactly the same as NFL Street – minus almost everything you loved about that game.

Incomplete Pass

From the start, NFL Tour feels somewhat familiar. It has a few of NFL Street’s qualities, like wall jumps and a jerky, arcade-style run. But it doesn’t look or feel quite right on PlayStation 3. When entering a next-gen game for the first time, you expect to be awed and inspired. You expect the game to have at least a few of those features only found on PS3 and Xbox 360 – superior controls, surreal graphics, a more immersive experience, and so on.

Unlike its Street predecessors, Tour doesn’t deliver on any of those expectations. If the controls were the same as they are on PS2’s Street games, players would find a moderately acceptable – if not intensely underwhelming – experience. But Tour isn’t merely a port of old content – it’s a severe downgrade. The stellar GameBreaker feature is gone. The cool, street-themed environments have been exchanged for a bunch of overly bright stadiums that look exactly alike. The point-earning style system, an EA BIG Sports staple, has also been removed. These features have been sacrificed for… For what, exactly? The game makes no explanation for why they are absent. Sure, it’s a “new” series. But where is the new content?

Tour’s hype points sound great on a box: “Arcade action featuring revolutionary reversal system,” says the box. “Tour the country battling the NFL’s elite” and “Simplified controls for any NFL fan.”

That “revolutionary” system is a button-timing and button-mashing mechanic that was done 10 years ago in NFL Blitz. Rather than work around your opponents, players can now charge into them head-on. This is cool but loses steam quickly. If you’re being tackled, jam on the X button to break free. If another opponent approaches, jam some more. Do it repeatedly until you score a touchdown. There are tackles that can’t be reversed, but you’ll break away most of the time. On defense, one of the easiest tackles is a far jump that aims for your opponents’ foot. No joke. If I jumped on his back, the reversal system would allow him to break free. But if I hit his foot, he’s usually screwed. Lame.

The tour to battle “NFL’s elite” is nothing more than a bare-bones season mode. There are a few differences (like having to win a game in three minutes), but the outcome is the same.

And those “simplified” controls don’t do anything to increase the game’s reach to the mainstream. If anything, they hurt it. Rather than having a separate button for each player (as in Street – it’s available in Tour but not by default), you have just one button: X. You switch players by pressing the circle button. Though I wouldn’t say this control style makes the game harder, it certainly doesn’t make it simpler.

Tour’s soundtrack is pretty good but you may never know it. Why? Because the announcers won’t shut up. They make fun of the fact that game announcers are repetitive and, in a lousy attempt to be funny, repeat their lines several times over. Bits and pieces of music are drowned out by their tired, poorly written and poorly voiced one-liners, which shouldn’t have been said more than once. The only way you’ll enjoy the music is by listening to it from the options menu. But isn’t that what iTunes is for?

 
Lights. Camera. Where’s the action?

Conversion Failed

You can’t rewrite history. You can’t make us forget about everything that NFL Street achieved. Every year, my old sports games collect dust. They lose all their value the second the next one is released. Street, however, keeps on rocking the gridiron. NFL Tour had the opportunity to do the same – to be a groundbreaking, unforgettable classic. But it missed the kickoff, losing all hope for a touchdown.

Gameplay: 4.7
The shift from PS2 to PS3 was not successful. Rather than next-gen-specific gameplay mechanics and PS3-caliber graphics, NFL Tour is a reduced version of NFL Street.

Graphics: 3.0
A slightly greater amount of player detail doesn’t make a game next-gen.

Sound: 1.0
I can’t remember the last time I turned to my TV speaker and said, “Shut up!”

Difficulty: Easy
In addition to the removal of NFL Street’s best features, NFL Tour also removes that game’s impressive difficulty.

Concept: 1.0
Sequels are cool. Spin-offs are fun. Upgraded ports can serve a purpose as well. NFL Tour is not a sequel, a spin-off, or an upgraded port. It’s the opposite of an upgrade, which is a total loss for everyone. NFL Street’s content is already made – why not port it over to this half-baked port?

Multiplayer: 4.0
Two online, four offline. Those numbers would be disappointing if the game was on par with NFL Street. As it stands, you’re not likely to care either way.

Overall: 4.5
I hear the theme from Gilligan’s Island. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but the words are distinct – “A three-hour tour. A three-hour tour.” Once those hours have passed, you’ll be glad you’re not trapped on an island with this game.